


You're Not Broken

by QuantumChickpea



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrinette, Aged Up, Coping, Depression, F/M, Fertility Issues, Hurt and comfort, Infertility, adrienette - Freeform, pcos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:07:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28062897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuantumChickpea/pseuds/QuantumChickpea
Summary: Marinette placed her hands on the sink, staring at another negative pregnancy test. It was the third one she had taken that month. The third negative test staring her in the face out of  one-hundred and eight negative tests. She would know. She had counted. She had counted all the tests she had wasted in three years. Three years that felt like she had spent crying her eyes out at every missing period that didn’t result in a pregnancy.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 10
Kudos: 109





	You're Not Broken

**Author's Note:**

> **Sometimes, I struggle and have to write to get my feelings out. That's what this is.**

Marinette placed her hands on the sink, staring at another negative pregnancy test. It was the third one she had taken that month. The third negative test staring her in the face out of one-hundred and eight negative tests. She would know. She had counted. She had counted all the tests she had wasted in three years. Three years that felt like she had spent crying her eyes out at every missing period that didn’t result in a pregnancy. 

Adrien and Marinette had been blessed with Emma, nine years ago. Blessed that she had somehow fallen pregnant in the Spring. She didn’t think it was even possible for her to get pregnant. She struggled her whole life with irregular hormones, anxiety, and depression and it had all been linked to PCOS. PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome, something that she didn’t ask for. Something that led to pain and suffering. Something that led to the fear of losing a child, of not having more than one. Something that made getting pregnant and keeping the baby very difficult. 

Her pregnancy with Emma had been hard with multiple doctor visits, increased monitoring, more ultrasounds than the typical parent, and she had nearly died giving birth. Adrien was terrified of her getting pregnant. Watching his wife nearly pass away before his eyes had scared him and traumatized him to no end, but Marinette wanted another baby. She had always wanted three, but it wasn’t in their cards. Nothing was perfect. Everything can’t go according to plan. 

She slowly peered up in the mirror, watching more tears fall down her cheeks at the loss of a baby that was never there to begin with. Sobbing over an unborn child that was not even a part of her life and one that she had hoped and imagined when she was late again. It was a gut wrenching pain, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you got pregnant again. Just maybe your broken uterus decided to work like everyone else’s. 

Alya managed to have at least two, why couldn’t they? Why did she have to be so broken? She sniffed and rubbed the back of her nose, leaving the test on the sink, unable to throw it away like she knew she should. She couldn’t do it. She took a deep breath and walked out of the room and to her craft room. 

Marinette turned on the light and peered at Emma’s old travel system. The folded stroller sat with the carseat on top of it. A reminder and false hope that she might be able to have another. But her hands trembled and her throat thickened whenever she thought about donating it. She thought about just asking Adrien to take it to a donation center without her in the car because she knew she would break down into hysterical tears. She was now, just thinking about it. 

She began to tidy up the place when she heard Adrien walk up to the doorway. She didn’t want to talk and she knew he was going to say something, anything to try and soothe her as he always did. 

“Hey, bugaboo.” Adrien softly talked and touched the top of the door, leaning on it.

“Negative.” 

The single word passed her lips as she continued to clean off her desk, but not actually doing much of anything but push shit around. She sucked on her bottom lip and tried to piece her broken self together for him, but she was struggling. 

“Are you okay?” Adrien didn’t touch her or approach her. He just waited for her to talk. 

“No. I’m struggling.” Marinette sniffed and Adrien let go of the doorframe to walk up to her. 

“Because you missed a period again?” Adrien brushed her hair back with his fingers and played with it. 

“Because my body is broken.” Marinette sobbed and Adrien wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head.

“Oh, Princess. You’re not broken. You can have a baby, just- it’s more dangerous for you.” Adrien sighed and held her. “You’re not broken, princess.”

“Yeah, I know. I almost died with Emma..” Marinette burst out in sobs, quieting them to try and not let Emma hear them. 

Adrien shut the door and sat down on her chair, patting his lap. She sat down on his lap, and he held her, as she silently cried. “It’s okay. I know you want another baby and that everyone around you is able to, or is, and you aren’t.” 

“I just don’t want to be broken and I feel like everytime I’m late or my period shows up… I know it’s insane and not logical, but-but I worry that I miscarried. I worried that somehow I screwed up. I get upset when I miss a period and think I could be pregnant again and then- and then I get another damn negative. It’s so frustrating. We have escaped getting pregnant technically for nine years with you pulling out. No one normally can get that lucky. No one. My body is broken, Adrien. It doesn’t work.” Marinette buried her face into his shirt and sobbed into the soft fibers.

“M’lady,” Adrien touched her chin to lift her face up to peer into her eyes, wanting to try and show her how amazing their daughter was. “-you know what I noticed today?”

“What?” Marinette peered at him with a trembling bottom lip.

“Emma might be changing the world right now.” Adrien warmly smiled and brushed her cheek with his thumb.

“Hm?” Marinette raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well, she games a lot and creates things online and maybe her creations inspire other kids to do the same.” Adrien kissed her forehead. 

“She’s been standing up for people too. I just-” Marinette was interrupted by Adrien.

“You want another baby. I understand, but you also need to think about the consequences and I really- really am afraid of losing you, but it is your body. Your choice, Marinette. I’ll support you, but you’re not broken. If you want to have a baby… we can try for real again. Like with Emma. And if that holistic way that Master Fu gave us doesn’t work again? Well, I’m willing to see a fertility specialist with you. Whatever it takes, okay?” Adrien warmly smiled at her and she nodded.

“I just- I can’t see another negative test, Adrien. I have months where I’m okay and then months where I’m not. And for some reason this one has just- it’s taken a toll on me. I’m scared I’m one breakdown away from doing something stupid.” Marinette sobbed and Adrien pulled her close again, rocking her.

“It’ll be okay. We have Emma and she is one amazing kid. She’s our lucky charm.” Adrien warmly smiled.

“Maman?” Emma’s voice came through the door. “Come see what I made in this game. Please?”

Marinette sniffed and pulled away from Adrien to wipe the tears from her eyes. “Be there in a minute, love bug.” 

Adrien warmly smiled and kissed her gently on the lips. “I promise that it will be okay, princess. You decide what you want and I’ll follow, just like when we were two heroes saving Paris. I got you.” 

Marinette nodded and cleared her throat before getting up to leave the room and see what Emma had made.


End file.
